Angels at the cemetary

I briefly saw something on tv - interviews with elderly folk who were posing as angels at a cemetary. They were all dressed in white angel outfits and from a local retirement village. One old guy was nearly 100 years old! The interview had some really great things. I love the light and happy perspective of folk who have lived long enough not to be burdened by stuff, just enjoying each other's company and being and doing it all with humour, really in touch with their mortality. These guys were talking about where they might end up when they die, one said at that particular cemetary next to her husband, one said in the ocean. One guy said he wasn't going up the stairway to heaven nor down the stairway either, when he died. When a woman was asked about the 'controversial' event of posing as angels at the cemetary for a calendar she replied, "oh we're too old to care about those sorts of things" - good answer I thought!
I really liked their attitudes.
I think there is perhpas a similarity between one on the verge of giving birth to a life and one on the verge of death...maybe...something about the bigger picture...and that both journeys - life and death - are transitions from one world to another...

---

"It is within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars - compassion, love, the sub-surface unity of all things. Not that that mystical stuff's necessarily true: the only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're going to try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't."
- David Foster Wallace

Fire Bird - a lino cut with a poem

printing ink on sugar paper


It squirmed in the darkness of filth,
wanting to escape, not knowing how.
It wallowed until filth became home,
all the while wasting years of existence.

It stagnated and became silent.
Evolution became merely a pulse.
Lifeless yet alive.

The pulse remained and over time it grew.
It developed a strength contrary to what it had thrived on.
It morphed into a matter and spirit superseding the sum of its parts.
And it rose out of the filth and flew to the sun,
never to look back.
Fuelled by life and the creative force of it all,
until it became at one with the light.

Wow, it has taken me so long to get a decent print from my first attempt at a lino cut. I have definitely deveoped an appreciation for good print makers, lino cutters etc; accomplished artists like Kathe Kollowitz:

a lino cut by Kathe Kollowitz.
Here I see that less is definitely more.

Isn't it wonderful what you find once you start seeking... Came across this blog with lots of other exciting links artwise, not to mention great prints and marks.

Holy 80's Music Memes!!

Carmie over at C.T reminded me about some old 80's favourites that upon listening to them still get the good vibes going again now as they did back when I was an 8 year old in a ra-ra skirt. (hmmm...now slightly questioning evolutionary theory, then again this would only be self-defeating, no shame here folks :).

And upon Youtubing them, I see that George Michael and his gang on the Wake Me Up Before You GoGo clip are wearing white t-shirts with massive "CHOOSE LIFE" all over them. No wonder this music was feel good!! (nb, this was not subliminal advertising for any anti anything agenda - this was the 80's!).

And I never realised it as I was purely jiving to the melody of this song at the time, but Swing Out Sister (who I loved) lyrics to Breakout are very feel good too!

Oh there are more that I could ramble on about, and I could create a list of music memes (if that makes sense) to back all this up... but this little trip was good :)

Intermission

A perspective:

"Life is just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you, you choose."

Excerpts, The Answer Man:

Question: If God made everything, then why are some things bad, like, for example, the whole pain and suffering thing?

Answer: Opposites. Without things that suck you would have no idea what good was and, therefore, be directionless. You smell shit and walk the other way.

Question: Do I have a destiny or is it all free will? Destiny or free will?

Answer: Free will moving toward or away from a purpose.

Question: How can I love someone who is selfish and scares me?

Answer: Um, that's hard. I guess what's getting in the way are your expectations. If he would do "x", then you'd be happy. It doesn't work that way. I think you have to let go of that and maybe what you want will happen and maybe it won't. Either way, you're better off.

via Lassie and Timmie

fire in the belly #2

oil on paper.

I did this a while ago, painting without a purpose other than the fun of it.
It's always fun to see what emerges as opposed to doing it with technical clarity.

The Bible and Other Creations

I've been reading bits of a modern day Bible of sorts (possibly inspired from finishing The Red Tent), well it's not so modern actually, from a supernatural event that happened for this guy Michel Potay in the 70's from which The Revelation of Ares was created.

And it's great and quite compelling with articles such as 'Living as an Eco-freak costs a lot and won't save the world. Living as a penitent costs nothing and will save the world'. that are interesting to read, offering bigger perspectives than things like ecology or science etc offer.

And it's not dissimilar to any other person or document promoting spiritual evolution across any of humanity's diversity.

I'm interested in how the Revelation of Ares came about just as I'm in awe about any great creative work. That in itself, a document created out of a supernatural experience, is a form of creation, as any other great text like The Bible et al is, and a strong form through which we can learn.

Not to get all institutional or overly zealous about this whatsoever, what The Revelation of Ares stands for is great, that change comes from ourself, that we are in control of our destiny, existentialism, If you change only what you understand about your own humanity, you change little. You can only change what you live; you change much then. Remember that only life passes life on, so only spiritual Life passes spiritual Life on (from here) etc, etc.

I love to research, gather, process, analyse. Right now, off to do The Work (not that creating a new life all the time isn't Work :), because, If you draw too much from your intellect, you lose the strength of your pure faith (ibid). (^_^)

and also,

How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.
-- High Eagle (thank you Wendy)

Abundance

A small presentation showcasing some of the garden's abundance and my surprise at it all. I'm sure it's coninciding with my pregnant body's green fingers and inspiring more fertility perhaps :P (I've heard gardners who swear by singing to their plants). However, the green fingers have truly have been put to minimal use this year - the garden has worked its magic mostly by itself, as nature does I suppose when left alone...

This has been the best season for the broad beans. One seed, ten thousand seeds indeed. I simply planted the seeds and left them to grow with the grass. Now we get to harvest all these little pods of goodness each week.

The strawberries (08's plants) have been a sweet surprise, a real hidden treasure that are so much fun to hunt for. They are also growing amongst the weeds which I'm happy to have in the garden - peppermint, mint, lemon balm and the other usual suspects not so edible. The apparent competition for these gems is between myself and my children.

And the flourishing lettuces - not a slug in sight!

These guys (spring onions) have been growing for 2.5 years. I have completely neglected them during all this time, yet here they are still hanging in there.
If you grow spring onions and just cut the tops off to harvest, they keep on growing - a very good trick!



The grapevine that I have pruned since we have been here purely based on my intuition (in other words, I have no technical grape vine pruning clue as to what I'm really meant to be doing) and there have been some very small harvests. But this year, there are buds like this all over the vine!


So, upon the imminent phase for a new baby to be born within, this abundance in the garden is a great sign me thinks :)

Balance

Like everything in life, there is always a point of balance.

What is helpful for you to create balance in your life?

Two words that come to mind for me are clarity and simplification in order to connect to what is real and meaningful. The ability to do this requires an ongoing juggling act of all the other givens of raising children, family life, creativity, relationships with the public world - all things involved in living. There is never one without the other in the balance of life.

Mon has been talking about her process of de-cluttering.

This is how artist Bill Dan naturally creates balance:

He says, "The only KEY to the process is basically 'connection' - if the connection is right between the rocks, then it is on. It doesn't matter how big or how small the contact point is. We can apply the process on our way of thinking about anything else in life, if the connection is right, then it is on."

Creative wonder

Hall of the Earth: An amazing room built on the 'supernatural' visions of its creator

It is truly great what the combination of vision, passion, people, and keeping the government out of the equation can produce. An Italian man had visions when he was 10 years old. Over the next 40 years he took these visions and brought them to reality in what is called the Temple of Damanhur. A system of tunnels and amazing rooms in the hills outside of Turin were created by Oberto Airaudi (preferred 'Falco') with only a few friends knowing about it.

He began by digging a trial hole under his parent's home to more fully understand the principals of excavation.

Light fantastic: The giant glass dome of the Hall of Mirrors

'[the temples] are to remind people that we are all capable of much more than we realise and that hidden treasures can be found within every one of us once you know how to access them,' says Falco

More about this great story here

words

Fire in the belly

Perhaps the feeling like breathing fire at those who hack me off these days has something to do with the little (big) fire in the belly.

Have never likened myself to a fire breathing dragon before, but I thought this pic was apt, especially the curvature of belly, and especially since mine protrudes right now in about the same proportion as this dragon's belly to its head (isn't it exciting when you can see your toes again post-baby-born upon looking down from standing!).
And the idea got me investigating dragon mythology, all of which I particularly like and would like to relate myself to in this instance, the Chinese version (conceited, self-indulgent self, no? (^_^)

Chinese mythology on dragons has the creature as a more benevolent, than malevolent creature. In fact, the creature represents the yang, the principle of heaven, or light. They are helpers to humans, and represent strength, power and virility.

Anyway, there really is a little fire in my belly - a little person of the fire element - fire from the Japanese 9 star ki.

What do you feel?

Neeta Madahar, falling, photogrpahy

Do you see the seeds in the image as floating gently down or being blown every which way?
gently floating down

The seeds could represent either freedom or being out of control. When have you felt most free?
immediately after giving birth; when immersed in art, meditation; in expansive open spaces in nature; at the beach; when we first came to live where we are now; with my husband and children and dearest friends.

When we go through a big change, it's common to feel blown about as if we don't quite know where we will land. This is because change represents the unfamilliar and the unknown. We don't know what will happen. Describe a change you've been through and what it felt like during and after.
Abrubt, sudden, aggresive, heartless form of change - scary, anxious, insecure, what the fuck is going on; after - the same feelings until many years later with the understanding that change happens all the time and can range on a continuum from yin to yang, this doesn't necessarily change the responsive feelings however.
planned, slow, kind form of change - scary but exciting, after - feel in line with the flow of nature and that change happens, at one with the world, secure in this knowing - secure in knowing that we are never secure no matter how secure we think we might be because everything changes, even after we die.

Do you have a change coming up in your life?
yes
How are you feeling about it?
excited, happy, best thing ever, best thing in life ever, at the same time fearful of pain involved because of extra receptive nerve endings especially, but knowing it will end and that my body's endorphins will help and that I can confidently do it again, just like before; unknown of future thereafter (indecisive) but truting that whatever happens will be the only thing that could have when it happens. Big picture perspective.


What do you feel?


inspiration for post from art therapy resource recently purchased - emotional learning cards, they're great!

------------------------------------------------------------



And on a completely different note (it's still art, it's still art!), I found this and HAD to post it because it immediately made me giggle out loud, especially because I have had this monolith of a book sitting on my desk for 2 years to read, and have picked it up about twice, only to shift it to a different spot.

from here via here

love in a cup; love everywhere.

I sit down with a cup of kukicha and ponder some photos taken from the trip away.

A wedding gift from my sister from Japan, hand crafted in Sapporo. A sensual tea drinking experience, these cups are truly beautiful. They feel as soft as baby skin to hold.

And they have dots!

My favourite aspect of The Learning Connexion's murals. Reminded me of Hundertwasser.

The Learning Connexion Bus - If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!

Turn your life into a work of art.

Murals covered all buildings at TLC.




They were wonderful!

this was a funny surprise

Outside 'dots' exhibition, the entire building was covered in dots!
Inside there is also cafe 'Nikau' where lovely friends took me for a beautiful and memorable lunch of locally made haloumi (the best I have ever tasted by a long mile), with a beet and rocket salad with mint.

There was a lot of love from old friends especially. And lovely to meet their new babies.

Bound for home. (Beech 19 - a very tiny plane). Got to study clouds and colours, a perfect compliment to what I learned at the weekend's art course.

where am I?

Am back home and am in complete solitude (whanau is still at bottom of country because of transport issues) apart from pets, after a 2 week jaunt down and up the country filled with many wondrous and nourishing experiences. Experiencing the whole range of weather - snow, sleet, hail, wind, rain, shine, warmth; different peoples, environments, humidities and foods.

Now back 'home' but I have a feeling of 'where am I'? .
How I feel is how I felt walking into the heart of this room today in Wellington:

Yayoi Kusama "Day"

A complete alien experience, opening up the common inquiry of latter years being, "what is this life about, what does being alive mean".

Home is so different to any of the places we lived in the past 2 weeks, except there are not so many dots here. It's full of creative possibility too and it's very wild. There is no obvious neat systematic order in the environment, only in the comparitive subtleties that support our existence (and only just, am not a super great organiser on the home front atm), and that which supports all the other living organisms in the natural environment. And the dizziness surely comes from being up in the air 12,000 feet as opposed to being on land which certainly feels like the best place for me to be AT ALL TIMES right now. And that mode of transport that means you can go between two completely different places in less than 1 hour. New Zealand is great for that - so much environmental and ecological diversity in a relatively small land mass.

Anyway, thank you Yayoi Kusama for the big universal idea through your art. I love to posit this.

She's a very, very interesting lady, now in her eighties. Completely inspiring. She goes for it. She's also a walking piece of art, her appearance and what she creates otherwise are quite seamless really. Her clothes are brilliant! Dots all the way! Even her pupils look like 2 big polkadots, and she's really not opening her eyes super wide, they always seem to be like this. There is a term sanpaku:

She creates her existence through doing art. I watched and listened to some of her life story, and totally resonated with what she's on about and her experiences. And she chooses to live in an asylum, I totally get that too. [Could be a little too much projection or delusion here on my part right now :P. Or maybe I'm verging on sanpaku right now, although I don't have sanpaku eyes, but I'm acting a tad more aggressive than usual, or being brutally honest, ie, telling rude, unfriendly and unhelpful AirNZ lady that that is how I experienced her, using those words. It has to be energy preparing me for birth surely!]
Watched Revolutionary Road whilst away (and incidentally thought it was really profound and meaningful and was not affected by the grim whatsoever as I think it's the big fat dead moose that pervades a lot of people's lives and has mine before), and that guy from the asylum - what a great character he was!

Alright so, I have plenty more to post about and will no doubt settle back into the swing of things here very soon (^_^).

My appendix for a red tent

I'm far from home as I write this, and although I'm having a very wonderful time, oh how I long for a red tent. A red tent to share with other women. To be pregnant and engage in quiet and restful, creative and nourishing activity with other women whilst sinking into the depths of the last 2 months of pregnancy.
I once read a book about the Hunza people of the Himalayas. Among the many appealing aspects of their way of life, the tradition that women go away to a place for themselves to support each other in childbirth and raising children for the first 2 years, makes total sense to me. And what a lovely way for women to support each other. Sometimes I find in our culture that women are really not that supportive of each other at all. Competitive even, quick to condemn and criticise, or as if defensive of their self and consequently unable to support other women. Another by-product of a disconnected society. I'm guilty of it myself, especially when I had so much messy and undiscovered baggage about my mother.
Of course not all sub-cultures within ours are like this and I've experienced loving, caring and supportive women and whole cultures of it, especially in Malaney, Queensland. I perhaps particularly notice the negative in a small town with a burgeoning and aspiring middle class, an uneducated middle class too - you don't need any education to mine coal in them thar hills. It's a place where instead of women supporting each other, there is what seems to be an undermining and subconscious power struggle. And of course there is, women are fighting in a way to do it all on their own, to cope whilst husbands are working 60 hours a week.

What an idea though, to create a modern day red tent culture. Images like this one above. Sharing stories in a quiet atmosphere interrupted with lots of raucous cackling. Nurturing each other. Knowing everything is as it should be. That your man is happily living and that your children are naturally occupied doing what they love too in the care of elders. Everything in a natural order of a supportive community and way of life. Everyone in a meaningful role to simply living.
I'm such a dreamer but the thought is a nice one and I really would consider giving up my appendix for a red tent ;).

Theories and other ramblings of ontologistic nature

Today was spent thinking and talking about theorists, child development theorists in particular - those who have contributed to the current socio-cultural context for the NZ early childhood curriculum, and the really wonderful idea of education being about co-construction of knowledge between humans, rather than a power driven model of 'teacher' and 'student'. Co-constructivism within a socio-cultural context really does make sense and I don't see why schools beyond early childhood can't operate using the same holistic model in their curriculums.

Anyway. I really started thinking about:
*What is a theory?
(From the compact Oxford English Dictionary, theory: • noun (pl. theories) 1 a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, especially one based on general principles independent of the thing to be explained. 2 an idea accounting for or justifying something. 3 a set of principles on which an activity is based.

*That where we are, the organisation of the Western world and the state of it etc, is based on powerful and influential people's theories about how life should be organised.
*The role of science in all this, and its limitations to the bigger picture.
*That a lot of people seem to take other people's theories for living as the way to live (me included) at the expense of discovering their own working theories about life and what actually works best for them.
*That mass death and destruction in the world is based on messed up theories.
*That lots of really great creative things and social change that happens in the world is based on imaginative, creative and loving theories.

So to cut a whole lot of cerebral blogging now about all this, I read this quote and it appealed because theories underpin or are thought, and I thought this connection from thought to destiny was interesting and that it's much more realistic than that big pop 'The Secret' phenomena et al, (which I'm being completely cynical about here because I haven't read or seen it but from based on what I've heard and my belief that it takes more to life than simply positive thinking, even though a positive attitude is everything...)

Watch your thought, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character,
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Frank Outlaw

And that it's really relevant to the book Art and Fear:

”You learn how to make your work by making your work … art you care about -- and lots of it!” Art and Fear, page 6.

And that a well-lived life is a lot about this, making art in all realms of life.
For me, it's about the art of raising my children; the art of physical, spiritual, family and mental health. The art of living my life. And continuously being connected to it somehow. (the theory that seems to work best for this is through care and purpose, commitment and action and learning as a result all. the. time.)

Cripes, thank goodness I'm going away from the computer for 2 weeks....

closure and opening

To quote an old friend.
Thank you for this, it really is a great metaphor for like you said, feelings about the past and things we as humans can't and shouldn't revisit.

we're a bit like trees. In a tree, all the life is in the surface layer -- in the bark -- but the strength is in the wood underneath; and as time passes the bark solidifies and becomes part of the wood underneath, and a new layer of life is added over the top. The old life underneath is hidden, and life moves on to a new layer.

Sounds on Sunday

Love!

the wonder of our world

Am taking a break from the doing of art at the moment... so in the meantime I'm posting random bits and pieces.

I read this quote today by an author I really like:

"What we see before us is just one tiny part of the world. We get into the habit of thinking, this is the world, but that's not true at all. The real world is a much darker and deeper place than this, and much of it is occupied by jellyfish and things."
- Haruki Murakami

One of Tboy's favourite dvd series to watch is Blue Planet, Cgirl's incidentally is Tintin (?? I'm so weirded out by this) she even started talking to me yesterday calling me 'Calculus' and I had to reply to her as 'Tintin', she's 2, and also not a little boy :). Anyway, wow Blue Planet is amazing! The never been seen footage of deep deep ocean life is truly fascinating. Temo has educated me on many species I've never seen or imagined... and seeing these creatures that exist in the depths of our planet's abyss is incredible! Hmmm...if alien creatures exist like his down below, it really gets me thinking about alien life that exists anywhere else not yet discovered.

So I really like the quote by Haruki, it really gets me thinking about the big picture we exist within, not just the natural world either but the diversity of indigenous human cultures (which language diversity for example is dwindling at an alarming rate of course) and the many ways of 'doing' life... instead of getting caught up in the detail of this tiny existence. I have a real disposition to get caught up in detail, which can be useful when creating things but generally annoying if I'm not because it is usually thought based. Getting caught up in the detail I find can preclude simply 'being' and the wonder and amazement of simply being a part of it all while I'm alive. Big picture much more conducive to simplicity and relaxation.

"A basic part of the whole truth is to perceive the falsity of every operative idea that is really false. This is extraordinarily difficult, as our motivations are confused and twisted in a very complicated way. Many of our false ideas operate subliminally, or even subconsciously. The problem is far more difficult to understand, than, for example, the theory of relativity, so that it requires a sustained and serious effort. Yet many people expect to understand truth in five minutes."
- David Bohm

mother and child #5, angry chick, and more

mother and child #5

Angry chick! Not so happy to be held it seems.

Honestly, this year has been the crazy year of the chicken for me (are we sure it's not the year of the rooster?)

It started with artificially and naturally incubating chicks as a way of increasing our coop. Seven chickens and a rooster turned into 20+ chickens very quickly and after the storms flattened the chicken domes, multi-coloured and multi-breeds of foul were free ranging everywhere and coming inside, defectaing everywhere and generally being punky and bold....it felt a little too close to Animal Farm. It was madness for various reasons like perpetually escaping chickens, more enclosure destruction, elusive roosters etc.

Through a major process, involving scenes like a pregnant me with stick in one hand, net in the other as a way of catching roosters (I'm the only one competent at catching them here), out of control chicken situation became contained.

Well so I thought. I was lying in bed the other day and heard many peeps outside. I thought, "no, it couldn't be", went outside and saw the one 'wild' chicken and sparrows and thought it must busy sparrows peeping or playing with the wild chicken or something. Until T-boy discovered this and another older abandoned nest, 30 eggs in total:

A what we thought recently abandoned chicken nest. The little black thing in the middle was a half hatched chick! This incidentally was the day of 'the scream', and upon the nest find I had the dilemma of letting nature take its course or rescuing that chick. So of course I had to stop doing art that day and spend the afternoon helping the chick into life and wondering about what to do with all the others:

Not so great looking above but now a happy chicky with its siblings. I ended up moving the nest, with it's mother and other 3 already hatched chicks into a nice safe home for them:

Aren't chicks just sooo cute~!

We get about a dozen eggs a day from the others, so we are inundated with chickens in all of their forms.
Can see why the chicken is the animal picture of spring and I think I've had a good chicken rearing 101 learning course this year!

Haute Diggity Dog Couture

A little sidetracked from posting art, but this is art of sorts.
Am really looking forward to going to Japan next year.
(pics courtesy of my sister who lives there).

Especially to buy some clothes like this number below for Claude:

My Scream and Wisdom

Edvard Munch Scream lithograph, 1895

Well the scream was quite a good piece of art for an expression of the human psyche wasn't it?
It was the melodramatic image that came to mind relative to how I felt today - completely fed up.
Existential angst (motherhood, wifehood etc the Western way??) - yes!
(Still able to smile though and let it pass...:)



Ruth Brown, her scream photograph, 2009

--

And words of wisdom from the macrobiotic e-newsletter:

Awakening personal creativity begins with the courage and curiosity to be open to oneself beyond the preconceived
ideas of who we are - who we should be. It to takes a willingness to listen to oneself and honestly recognize one's true
needs, wants and desires. It takes commitment and energy to bring fulfilment to the self, then personal creativity is available.
When one understands this, It is clear that being creative is the ultimate nourishment.

Roberta Fredlani

Creative Voice

Went to a fantastic singing a capella workshop facilitated by these guys last weekend. I didn't know what to expect, I just turned up out of a love for singing with my plate of kai to share for lunch and within 4 hours we had a choir ready to perform! It was an amazing day and really reflected the power of creativity, people - strangers to each other working together, and voice.
To begin and as a way of consolidating everyone, a humming started in about the key of C, the energy created was beautiful. From there the humming evolved into different noises lead by different people, to which everyone echoed and from there for the next 4 hours or so with a break for kai we practiced about 5 songs from around the world all in the singing range that we felt comfortable with - soprano, alto (me), tenor or base.
The day evolved organically, and at the end we decided through consensus to do a public performance. One person suggested the foyer of the supermarket (it was a Sunday and being a town of a few thousand we were limited for places where there would actually be people). I'm glad everyone felt good about going to a local 'old people's home' and my family were able to make it to the performance too :)
A choral performance like this, or any creative workshop with women AND men for that matter, is pretty rare for this town so it was all quite extraordinary and exciting to be a part of.
What I especially loved was that it was another art form to be a part of where I merged into it all, became completely self-less, my voice became one with the others - a drop in the ocean. Another beautiful and relaxing, meditative experience. And the how the whole day flowed easily with its happy willing participants - the local contingent of people interested in art and culture I suppose, and the sharing of food that was actually really good and wholesome (the only version of public shared lunches I have ever experienced here is where people bring a bag of chips, or sausage rolls or those little pink sausages and think that's ok - yes, sad but true, it's how it is here). So it was a lovely surprising community experience :).
And really lovely for the baby in the puku too, who only has 88 days or so to go apparently - YIKES!!

To add to bucket list - join world music choir.

Here's one of the songs we sang (in Maori) -
Purea Nei by Henare Mahanga and Hirini Melbourne

Purea nei e te hau Horoia e te ua Whitiwhitia e te ra Mahea ake nga poraruraru Makere ana nga here.	Scattered by the wind washed by the rain and transformed by the sun, all doubts are swept away and all restrains are cast down.
E rere wairua, e rere Ki nga ao o te rangi Whitiwhitia e te ra Mahea ake nga poraruraru Makere ana nga here, Makere ana nga here.	Fly O free spirit, fly to the clouds in the heavens, transformed by the sun, with all doubts swept away and all restrains cast down. Yes, all restrains are cast down.

And Shosholoza a famous song from Africa - this version is the one I could find most like how we arranged and performed it, except ours not as polished :)

upside down sunset - the 2 min painting

parent and child #4 complete

graphite on paper

parent and child #3 & #4

parent and child #3 (brother and his daughter Luciana)

Now that I'm nearing the end of the foundation art course, I'm beginning to think about sustaining it when the course is over and how to do that, combining doing art with the public world perhaps and creating projects to keep working with, ones that I love, and I'm really enjoying doing these drawings.
I've recently learned from practice that it's important for me to have a vision to work towards, as opposed to floundering around without one which I've done a lot of (living more on serendipity and whims, which has been great, but not so helpful for my clarity now iykwim and balancing life to make sure all necessary needs are met with raising 3 children). Doing art has been great for this learning and 'foundation' and the significance of doing things with care and purpose. So anyway, I thought I'd like to keep working on the series of drawings I've been doing with the theme around 'children and parents', with the view to exhibiting them at a local cafe (got to start somewhere and here I feel it's a pretty safe place as there aren't too many educated art critics!).
If you have any photos of you and your baby, please get in touch and I'd love to draw it. I have quite a moody theme going on (you can see #1 and #2 if you scroll down quite a bit), so a picture you think would be good drawn in this style would be great! :)

And a drawing in progress of my friend and her little chap Lukin. I'm really pleased with how it's turning out:

parent and child #4

Interlude - Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness

A sadness in my own secret silence and space.

A memory - unrequited or the lost love

A song - Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard (lead singer from The Frames) and Marketa Irglova, from the film 'Once'

A thought - A life not loved

A character - Ophelia in Shakespeare's Hamlet

An image - Ophelia's Heart by Jamali

"Overcome any bitterness that may have come because you were not up to the magnitude of pain that was entrusted to you. Like the mother of the world who carries the pain of the world in her heart, each one of us is part of her heart, and therefore endowed with a certain measure of cosmic pain. You are sharing in the totality of that pain.
You are called upon to meet it in joy instead of self-pity."
- Pir Vilayat Khan

sharing a good book

I'm reading Daybook by Anne Truitt at the moment (journal of an artist), and I came across this beautiful passage that struck with me especially, (may also be related to my special affinity with horses :)
I would like to share it with you.

Balancing intuition against sensory information, and sensitivity to one’s self against pragmatic knowledge of the world, is not a stance unique to artists. The specialness of artists is the degree to which these precarious balances are crucial backups for their real endeavor. Their essential effort is to catapult themselves wholly, without holding back one bit, into a course of action without having any idea where they will end up. They are like riders who gallop into the night, eagerly leaning on their horse’s neck, peering into a blinding rain. And they have to do it over and over again. When they find that they have ridden and ridden – maybe for years, full tilt – in what is for them a mistaken direction, they must unearth within themselves some readiness to turn direction and gallop off again. They may spend a little time scraping off the mud, resting the horse, having a hot bath, laughing and sitting in candlelight with friends. But in the back of their minds they never forget that the dark, driving run is theirs to make again. They need their balances in order to support their risks. The more they develop an understanding of all their experiences – the more it is at their command – the more they carry with them into the whistling wind.

–Anne Truitt, from Daybook

the awareness test

This wee video is cool. So much to say about consciousness... existence....perception...being and nothingness etc,etc... love it!

Pointillism and Sand Mandalas

Unfortunately I have not done baby Miro justice in his cuteness factor with this picture, he really is much cuter! He's kind of got that old man baby look going on here. However, this post is about pointillism and process.
Trying out pointillism, I have a new appreciation for art - this picture took hours to get where it's at and it's still not finished. I also discovered a new level of relaxation in doing this and I'm convinced that I could start up a new cult of meditation called pointillism meditation. There was something very rich in placing each dot on the paper. Time became non-existent and when the peace in doing this was abruptly put to an end for lunch, it felt like I had just woken from a full night's sleep, or hours worth of deep meditation.

Doing this reminded me of the Sand Mandala I saw be created when we lived in Eire in a little town called Cluain Meala. Buddhist Monks from the Tashi Lhunpo Monastery visited the place and took days to create this beautiful sand mandala. It was a meditation in itself watching them place each grain of sand with their special wee grain of sand placing device. A beautiful experience, very peaceful with beautiful happy humans doing their thing.

When mandala was complete, it was simply swept up and put into a special urn.

Followed by a procession to the River Suir (pron. Shurr) where the sand was tipped into.

I loved this whole event of creation and destruction in order for re-creation again. A perfect metaphor for the cycle of life and that yes, it really is all about process.
A great outlook for living I think.

And on it goes and off I go to do more....not art though, cleaning..... in order to make space to do the art :)

Drosera (Sundew) - creative healing

Drosera Rotundifblia

Although this is not about art per se, it's still related to creativity. Creative thought ie, if something isn't working for you, try something new, is necessary to all facets of my life. This means trying out different things, usually not in the conventional, mainstream, blanket approach that 'most' people choose how to do things in their lives, unless it makes sense to me and is of meaningful value.
Through this way, I discovered homeopathy and in particular this remedy Drosera, which is actually the fly trap plant otherwise known as Sundew (thank you for mine Johanna :).
What creative and clever person discovered that this unusual plant would be a cure for the plague and whooping cough? Big gratitude for all the people who investigate alternatives.

Why I'm making a special post about this is because Drosera as a remedy is something to rave about and for the last 2 months I have whooping cough - it has been awful! And in the last week, on top of the whooping cough, I contracted another sort of cold which made it all so much worse. So this encouraged me to do something about it, rather than take time to let it pass and eat sensibly. Being pregnant I took the latter approach because I resigned not to take anything because of my current state. Within a minute of researching the best homeopathic for this on the internet, I discovered Drosera was what I needed, Jman found some at the local store and I started taking it. In the hours following I got worse, to the point where I felt like I was really suffocating more than usual, dying even! This instigated a trip to the beach, even though it was raining, to see if the ocean air would open things up a little, and it did help but maybe more because my mind was otherwise occupied with fun at the beach. Later that evening, no more suffocating, no more whoop, I slept with no 2am 2hour long whooping cough episode! Also, Tboy has had it mildy and at about 9pm each evening, he has been waking with a whoop cough and crying. He slept through too and has done ever since, no more whooping cough for him either!

I need to say that I was immunised again whooping cough and all the other communicable diseases (diptheria, measles, rubella, mumps, polio, tetanus, chicken pox), my children haven't been however (immunisation really is another post in itself but for me, injecting animal pathogens that have been messed around with into the human body is idiotic - apart from polio perhaps - there's soo much more I could say here and I will when I get around to it). And I think it's worth a mention that Cgirl did not contract this highly infectious disease and there is no way she was not exposed to it either, she practically eats and breathes me, lol. Tboy did contract a mild version of it but because he's not as naive to nonsense food as Cgirl is, I think his immunity maybe was a little more shonky at the time. Of course when you are pregnant, your immunity isn't as good, but still, I contracted the disease and Drosera quickly cleared it up! Wish I had done it earlier, it took a while for the light bulb to go off! But am super happy it did, and I recommend this remedy if ever anyone has to go through whooping cough.

fun with oil, and sand in the bath

Trying out oil painting for the first time - fun fun! (very Danielesque - thanks for the technique ideas Daniel!)

And a photograph of sand in the bath after being at the beach:

Controversial Art

Bigots really can make the world an interesting (or sad) place can't they?!
A NZ man made a big song and dance about this art work entitled 'Joie de Vivre'. Apparently he had to divert the attention of his 3 year old son from seeing this particular art work and made the comments, "one can appreciate art but it should be at their choice, within the confines of a gallery, not put on public display for the viewing of the innocent in a shop selling art and craft supplies. Like many in Nelson, I am a member of a local church. Most feel nudity is private and should not be exposed to the unwilling viewer." [I never knew 3 year olds were unwilling viewers of art or that galleries weren't public spaces!]

Incidentally I encountered another example of conservative underbelly in Nelson where a PREGNANT shop assistant threatened to kick my friend and I out of the particular clothing store because my friend was breastfeeding (we were also the only ones in the shop at the time!). To discriminate like this is illegal in NZ which I pointed out to the shop assistant and to cut a long story short I contacted the shop owner and discussed this issue with her. Shop owner was extremely apologetic and gave us $ vouchers for her shop - woohoo as it's a great shop! I do feel sad for the child of this pregnant woman who had views against breastfeeding.

Anyway, back to the controversial art, in response, the artist made the excellent point that "a child who views a painting like that at that age, they're innocent and they see nothing of it. They lose their innocence through the teachings of adults."

I could go into great detail about my personal experiences and commentary in relation to this but I'll write about that on my other wordy blog :).

Goddess Box

I think everyone needs a Goddess Box - or a God Box - a place filled with treasures of the feminine or masculine devine, anything from the depths of our souls and hearts where truths lay.
.
I really love boxes. Opening them up to see what might be inside is always a surprise. Finding boxes with 'stuff' really appeases the curiosity and I have found many interesting boxes so far in all different places - mine and other people's...

As part of a decoupage project for the art course I'm doing, I decided to make a special Goddess Box where I'm going to store all my small creative works - mostly writings of mine and other Goddesses and God Bloggers or writers who I find inspirational; love letters, special photos of my family and other dear people I love, anything that is little (big) happy and will fit in my Goddess Box.

On the front we have the Goddesses:

Venus - Roman Goddess of love, beauty and fertility.

Kuan Yin - Buddhist Goddess of mercy, boundless compassion and kindness, believed to heal those sick of heart and body. She is thought to pay special attention to mothers and children in distress, and to help seafarers caught in storms.

Benzai-ten there on the side - Japanese Goddess of Arts - Music, Poetry, Learning, Art. Happiness comes in many ways. Some gain it through wisdom and knowledge, others through beauty, music, and art. The goddess of all these gifts. Benzai-ten is believed to bring happiness and wealth to her worshipers.

On the inside is:

Oya - a powerful Yoruban Goddess. WhenOya is happy, the river flows smoothly, bringing clear water to nurture those who need it. But when she is angry, the river overflows or runs dry. Oya is responsible for sending storm winds to warn humans of the approach of her husband, the thunder god Shango.

Psyche - Roman and Greek Goddess who began her life as a mortal whose unworldy beauty won her divinity and the love of Cupid. The Greek word for both 'butterfly' and 'soul', 'Psyche' is appropriate for this beloved Goddess. Symbolising a woman's soul transformed by love from innocence to wisdom, she is often depicted wearing butterfly wings, suggesting her transformation from mortal girl to goddess.

On the back is:

Isis - Egyptian great mother goddess of the universe. Present every day at sunrise and at the time of new and full moons. Responsible for wetness and moisture, her milk nourished all living beings.

Chang O - Chinese moon goddess. She is honored with the moon festival. In Chinese culture people bake special, round treats called moon cakes, which are filled with delicious red bean paste. These cakes are reminders of Chang O.

Freyja - In Norse mythology, the Goddess Freyja presided over the living and the dead. She was responsible for the souls who perished in battle. Despite her duties on Asgard, Frejja was mainly honored as goddess of beauty and love - forces more powerful than war and death.

decoupaged images and information sourced from 2007 Goddess Calendar written and illustrated by Kris Waldherr.

Hello Spring!

It's so nice to have you here again.

And freshly picked eggs. We have a green egg laying chicken too!
We really could have green eggs and ham.

Creative skirt and best Freudian slip ever

Words of the day from Cgirl: "Mama, have you finished doing your heart?"

(she meant art) - that is the best Freudian slip if ever I heard one :)

------

This is my most favourite, comfy, creative skirt. Made by a man (not me and I'm not a man :), he gathers his materials from op shops - old table cloths and other different fabrics and pieces them together into the flattering A-line style that is so comfy - suitable for pregnant mamas too as the waistline can sit under baby belly. He screenprints and hand dyes, each piece he makes unique.
Note my nice lacey table cloth edge that is actually one big pocket with the gorgeous Frida on it. Yes, I get to wear her too!
Please excuse lack of ironing, actually I don't iron any of our clothes at all. I think the women's lib movement did a good job at ensuring my confusion or sheer avoidance of motherood duties such as ironing...

I love Frida.

the back.

And just a wee section of a big collage trying out new techniques like pointillism, washes, and painting with a pallette knife - fun fun fun!

[conversation to self-

I am constrained by form, this looks really tacky! The green is the wrong green.... ahh doesn't matter, it's all fun and is about process anyway, outcome irrelevant.]

words of the day

Cgirl (2) to Tboy as a ploy to get the couch (there is huge competition for the couch when they both watch a dvd):

"baby in the puku, I need it, baby in the puku"

hmmm...I wonder where she gets that from....

----

And Tboy (4.5) spelt 'jam' out of the blue when making him a sandwich and talking about jam he said, "J. A. M" and we talked about that. I have found Sr Seuess's ABC the best book to use for phonetics and sounds.... and look Tboy is naturally learning how to spell! Incidentally I just listened to a TED about how children teach themselves...

Finding your passion changes everything


and a TED about rethinking human ecology through education

Pure Bliss for a Mother

When filled with life itself, I get to go the beach on a beautiful nearly spring day, paint it, photograph it, do anything I want and spend as long as I want there, and know that my husband and children are healthy and happy.

----

A nice silhouette:

Here's a section of the painting I did whilst there:

Despite the calm weather, the sea was huge!

Wearing the baby

mother and child #2


The flash did something funny to the faces, but you get the picture, it's a mama wearing her baby.

One of my most favourite things in the whole wide world is to wear babies (preferably mine!)

So Mon inspired this post and she has a special gift for a lucky mummy to help wear (or carry!) her baby :)

doing art!

mother and baby #1. (I've just noticed where pic isn't complete!)



"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up"
-Pablo Picasso

Well, I'm having loads of fun doing art, am being just like a child I think. Except a child probably wouldn't become frustrated for accidentally spilling a BIG BLOB OF BLACK PAINT on their picture.
Maybe a tail??

“When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college - that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, "You mean they forget?"”

-Howard Ikemoto

Pizza restaurant

We love Sundays. It means it's time for our Pizza-

to open.
This sign above the outside door has been a good topic for conversation. Some freinds have an ongoing 'tab' with us.

The weather is often like this:

Just perfect for cosying up the kitchen with fire and cooking warmth, getting down to business and making pizza.

and roasting peppers and cooking other pizza toppings.




We tried out the new pizza stone with a traditional margherita (with olives instead of basil):

Today wasn't the best for rising the dough, but a crispy thin base was produced.




And the second my favourite: caramelised onion, kalamata olives and anchovies (except today we had no anchovies).

nature around the house

At the beach

There was driftwood for Africa at the beach.


Andy Goldsworthy, eat your heart out!

I could imagine Andy Goldsworthy really having a lot of fun here.

We turned it into a fire and sat around it with friends sharing food and stories.

So nice for the middle of winter.

We walked home as the sun went down.

Blog Change

Just letting you know I've decided to refine my blog a little and make it more of a visual place.
Will continue to write bits, maybe not as much as other days, I really like doing pictures at the moment :) and have imported old posts to a new spot at wordpress.
If you would like to keep up with my life there, you would be very welcome and you can email me at ruth dot playcentre dot 'thatletterafterf'mail dot com and I can give you the new wordpress link for that.
(^_^) , ruth

Dancing Feather

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance."
~Japanese Proverb

---

"Dance for yourself, if someone understands good. If not then no matter, go right on doing what you love."
~Lois Hurst